- An increasing number of youth are realizing that they are transgender. This means their gender is different from their birth sex, often called the sex they were "assigned at birth."
- For some parents/guardians, it is a big surprise to learn that a child is transgender, while for others, it makes sense right away.
- Some parents/guardians feel confused, sad, or disconnected when they first learn that a child is transgender and feel that they need to get to know their child again.
- Even when parents/guardians are not surprised or sad, many feel worried about their child's safety, happiness, and future. Most parents/guardians feel unprepared to help their child navigate life as a different gender, particularly in relation to family, peers, siblings, school personnel, and faith communities.
- You, your child, and your family deserve love and support. Many families are uncertain about how to find knowledgeable, affirming health care, counseling resources, friends, and role models for their child, and support for themselves, especially early on after learning that their child is transgender. Many families find that the beginning of this journey is the hardest, and that with time and support, life gets easier.
- I don't understand this yet, but I'm trying, and I love you.
- What name do you want to be called and what pronouns do you use (he/him/his, she/her/hers, they/them/theirs, or another pronoun)? Please be patient if I mess up sometimes.
- You deserve to be loved and respected; I love and respect you. If anyone hurts or disrespects you, come to me and we will figure it out together.
- You deserve to feel good about yourself, and I support you. If you feel sad or worried, come to me and we will figure it out together.
- You will always have a place to live, even if we argue.
- How do you feel the same as others? How do you feel different? What worries do you have?
- You may have known for a while that you are transgender and you may be in a rush to start living as your true gender, but this is new for me. Please try to be patient while I catch up because I want to and I will get there.
- Let's remember to have fun together even when things are hard. What things would you like to do together?
- Is it okay for me to tell other people about your gender?
- If you want to tell other people about your gender, when and how would you like to do that, and what can I do to support you in that?
- You are not alone. We are on this journey together.
- My child is transgender and should be treated as a (boy, girl, another gender) when we are here. Please call my child (preferred name) and use the pronouns (gender pronouns) as this is how they identify and feel best about themselves.
- I love my child and want them to feel happy, comfortable, and safe at this (family gathering, school, church/temple/mosque). Please look out for my child and let me know if anyone acts in a disrespectful manner toward them.
- If you see that my child is struggling, please let me know right away. Many transgender children feel depressed, anxious, and suicidal when they are not recognized or respected for who they are. Research shows that transgender kids are resilient when they are accepted for who they are and that trying to change them causes harm.
- I realize that this may be difficult or different for you (or your organization), but you can only imagine how hard this has been for my child.
- This (family, school, church/temple/mosque) is really important to us. We hope that you will still embrace us with this change in our lives. It is stressful and we could use your kindness and support.
- Meets the first Tuesday and third Wednesday of each month from 5:00 to 6:30 pm. Check website Calendar to confirm dates.
- Facilitated by Dr. Debra Pietrangelo, Licensed Psychologist, a non-transgender/cisgender therapist and ally.
- Anyone at any stage of this journey is welcome. This is an open group that provides an opportunity to ask questions, get information, share experiences, and develop community connections and supports with other transgender people. Discussion topics vary depending on the needs and interests of the group.
- All ages are welcome. No registration is required and participants can drop in at any meeting. Service providers who work with transgender and non-binary folks are also welcome.
- During the pandemic, meetings are on Zoom. Please complete and submit by e-mail (tnorth12801@gmail.com) the one-page intake form below to receive the Zoom link.
- Meets the second Wednesday of each month from 5:00 to 6:30 pm. Check website Calendar to confirm dates.
- Facilitated by Dr. Debra Pietrangelo, Licensed Psychologist, a non-transgender/cisgender therapist and ally.
- Any parent, guardian, or family member of a transgender or gender diverse child is welcome. This is an open group that provides opportunities to ask questions, get information, share experiences, and develop community connections and supports with other parents/guardians. Parents/guardians, no matter their level of trans literacy, can get support and information, and process thoughts and emotions that might not feel comfortable or appropriate to talk about with the trans or gender diverse young people in their lives.
- No registration is required and participants can drop in at any meeting. Service providers who work with transgender and non-binary folks are also welcome.
- During the pandemic, meetings are on Zoom. Please complete and submit by e-mail (tnorth12801@gmail.com) the one-page intake form below to receive the Zoom link.
National
- Trevor Project 24/7 Suicide Hotline for LGBTQ youth 1.866.488.7386 thetrevorproject.org
- Family Acceptance Project familyproject.sfsu.edu
- PFLAG pflag.org • pflag.org/publications
- Gender Spectrum (varied resources, particularly related to a nonbinary/gender expansive, identity) genderspectrum.org
- Human Rights Campaign hrc.org
Transgender Mental Health
True North recognizes the importance of inclusive services to everyone regardless of their skin color, gender, or sexual orientation. We have recently expanded our services for transgender and non-binary youth and adults.
People who identify as transgender or non-binary often experience widespread discrimination and misunderstanding from health care providers.
True North provides a safe, affirming environment where clients and their families can receive individual therapy and group support to address their mental health and wellness needs. We offer information, referrals to health care providers, psychotherapy, a support group for transgender and non-binary individuals, a support group for parents/guardians of transgender and non-binary youth, and referrals to other supportive services.
We do our best to provide a welcoming, safe, and respectful atmosphere for everyone by using their correct name and pronouns.
Tips for Parents and Guardians of Transgender Youth
What to Say to Your Child
What to Say to Others
Resources
Transgender & Non-Binary Support Group
Parent & Guardian Support Group
